Restoring Relationships: Confess
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by Rick Warren
“First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matthew 7:5 NLT).
The fourth biblical step toward restoring a relationship is to confess your part of the conflict.
If you’re serious about restoring a relationship, you should begin with admitting your own mistakes or sin. Jesus said it’s the way to see things more clearly: “First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matt. 7:5 NLT).
Since we all have blind spots, you may need to ask a third party to help you evaluate your own actions before meeting with the person with whom you have a conflict.
Also, ask God to show you how much of the problem is your fault. Ask, “Am I the problem? Am I being unrealistic, insensitive, or too sensitive?” The Bible says, “If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves” (1 John 1:8 Msg).
Confession is a powerful tool for reconciliation. Often the way we handle a conflict creates a bigger hurt than the original problem itself. When you begin by humbly admitting your mistakes, it defuses the other person’s anger and disarms their attack because they were probably expecting you to be defensive.
Don’t make excuses or shift the blame; just honestly own up to any part you have played in the conflict. Accept responsibility for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
Panic Button
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God never has to press the panic button. He doesn’t even have a panic button.
“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
Pluck out your eye
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At church today the Reading was from MARK 9:43 about “if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.” I never really understood this and was always a bit shocked by it. But the minister helped me better understand it. He used an analogy that if a small child walks toward a busy street, Mom will shout “STOP” in a loud and aggressive tone to get the child’s attention. The more the risk, the louder the shout.
This reading is God’s attempt to SHOUT at us warning of the danger of temptation. This passage is in fact designed to shock us into realizing that every temptation is real and potentially deadly. Whether we sin as a result of our hands, feet or eyes, that temptation can lead us down a very dangerous path as the temptation sucks us in more and more.
The minister went on to say that what seems unimaginable today in terms of behavior we would never consider acceptable, over time left to a temptation that is unchecked, that unimaginable behavior can become acceptable or normal in our minds, if we do not step back and realize how mesmerizing and intoxicating some temptations can be. We can allow ourselves to be so caught up in the enjoyment and pleasures of certain temptations, that we begin to accept this new sinful behavior as acceptable.
So I guess you can “teach an old dog new tricks” because I have heard this passage every year…..at least 35 (maybe 45?) and never really understood it or benefitted from it as much as I did today. I am also glad to finally know I am not expected to “pluck out my eye”………even though I can’t see very well out of one of them, in particular, I have grown kind of fond of both of them!!
Focus Only on Doing God’s Will
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by Rick Warren
“Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest. For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light” (Matthew 11:27-30 TEV).
Expectations are a yoke. Some of you are carrying a yoke–a heavy burden–of the expectations that were put on you by your parents, or your husband, or your wife, or your children. Some of you are burdened down with a yoke put on you by your boss or by your teacher.
But most of us carry a yoke of burden that we’ve put on ourselves because of unresolved guilt and unrealistic expectations. We’re trying to prove that we matter.
We take on a heavy yoke that God never intended in order to prove that we’re important when God says we’re already important: He created us to be with him and to fulfill a unique mission in life. That makes us important, not all the things we do (or don’t do).
God’s yoke is that we follow his purpose for our lives, and when we do that, things work out a whole lot better. When we go our own way in life, we hit one brick wall after another. In a sense, God says, “Put on my purpose, my plan for your life.”
How heavy is God’s yoke? Jesus says, “The yoke I will give you is light and easy.” You say, “But my Christian life isn’t easy. My Christian life is heavy; it’s like a duty that I have to fulfill.”
Then it may be you are out of God’s will. You may be doing something that God never intended for you to do. I can’t say it any plainer than this: It may be some of the things you think God is asking you to do, He’s not asking you to do. Your conscious and your perfectionism are asking you to do them.
Jesus did not come to give you a burden but a blessing.
Am I saying the Christian life has no problems? No, not at all! We all will have a lot of problems. The Christian life is full of difficulties. The point is this: to live in the center of God’s will is a lighter load than to live out of God’s will. To live in God’s purpose and plan for your life is a lighter, more relaxing, more enjoyable load than for you to live your own life any old way you choose.
If you say, “My Christian life is a burden right now,” then there are some things in your life that you’re doing that God never intended for you to do. One of the things you need to do is get quiet before God and ask, “What do I need to cut out of my life?” I need to focus on the things that really count–my relationship to God, my relationship to my family, my relationship to other Christians, my relationship to the world. That’s what counts.
Jesus says, “Come to me all of you who are tired from carrying your heavy loads and I will give you rest.” The answer to your stress is not a bunch of principles. The answer to your stress is a relationship to a person: Jesus Christ. “Come to Me. I will give you deep, abiding, gut level rest.” It’s a personal invitation.
Are you living under condemnation? If you are, Jesus says, “Come to me . . . and I will give you rest.” In a sense, this is what Jesus is saying: “Why don’t we do this . . . why don’t we take that heavy yoke of guilt that you’re carrying, take it off and put it down over here. Instead, let me put on you my light yoke of grace. Get rid of the guilt and let’s replace it with grace. You see how much better this fits; how much more comfortable it is?”
Take off this yoke of perfectionism, where you’re always trying to prove yourself and toss it over to be burned. Put on the yoke of God’s plan for your life; his purpose.
When you do that, your confidence will soar.
Thursday Sept 24 National Day of Prayer
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For those interested - Thurs. 9/24 - National Day of Prayer. You can participate from 6:30-8pm Central Time at www.nationaldayofpray.org or www.thecall.com
God always answers prayer and always in the best way–not just sometimes, but every time.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened..” Matthew 7:7-8
Near HIS Heart
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God will never let you be shaken or moved from your place near His heart.
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5
Failure
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Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.” Proverbs 24:16
What did I do to deserve this?
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Sometimes I get discouraged because many things don’t go the way I wanted, had expected or hoped. I even get angry with God at times as if “YOU OWE ME…….or WHY DIDN’T THAT HAPPEN THIS WAY OR THAT?………OR WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING ME?…………..WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?…I AM TRYING REALLY HARD HERE WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING?………..WOULD IT HURT ONCE IN AWHILE TO GIVE ME A BREAK?……….
When I step back and realize what I am thinking and saying at those times, I realize how absurd I am. God never promised “everything would magically work out and be perfect.” He sacrificed HIS only Son for me. What more could I possibly expect HIM to do. The day to day set backs, disappointments, problems, crosses to bear are part of life. They are also tests to see if I really deserve to spend the rest of my existence in eternity with my creator. I can let these minor events ruin my life and upset me to the point that I make everyone around me miserable or I can accept them and be thankful for so many blessings I have.
So the next time my toilet floods, my computer stops working, stub my toe, drop my phone and it breaks, miss my flight, dishwasher has to be replaced, a tree branch falls on my gutter, a rock cracks my car windshield, get a headache, garage door breaks, get a flat tire, ink pen ruins my shirt, get a fever blister, strain my ankle, break my glasses, misplace my keys, get a scratch on my car door, lose my phone head set, have a long flight delay, stuck in traffic, get turned down on a big sales call, don’t get that pay raise, don’t get that new client, have car problems, furnace goes out, and so on……..
I am going to step back and realize that this minor event gives me the opportunity to make a choice. A choice to accept “what is.” A choice to Praise Jesus and thank Him. A choice to choose to be content, at peace and happy with my life.
Repentance: Allowing God to Change Your Mind
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by Rick Warren
“Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” (Romans 12:2 NLT).
Imagine riding in a speedboat on a lake with an automatic pilot set to go east. If you decide to reverse and head west, you have two possible ways to change the boat’s direction.
One way is to grab the steering wheel and physically force it to head in the opposite direction from where the autopilot is programmed to go. By sheer willpower you could overcome the autopilot, but you would feel constant resistance. Your arms would eventually tire of the stress, you’d let go of the steering wheel, and the boat would instantly head back east, the way it was internally programmed.
This is what happens when you try to change you life with willpower: You say, “I’ll force myself to eat less . . . exercise more . . . quit being disorganized and late.”
Yes, willpower can produce short-term change, but it creates constant internal stress because you haven’t dealt with the root cause. The change doesn’t feel natural, so eventually you give up and quickly revert to your old patterns.
There is a better and easier way: Change your autopilot—the way you think. The Bible says, “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” (Romans 12:2 NLT).
The New Testament calls this mental shift repentance, which in Greek literally means “to change your mind.” You repent whenever you change the way you think by adopting how God thinks—about yourself, sin, God, other people, life, your future, and everything else. You take on Christ’s outlook and perspective.
Resolve to Manage Your Anger
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by Rick Warren
“Love . . . is not easily angered” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV).
The Bible says, “Love is not easily angered.” It doesn’t say love never gets angry at all. In fact, sometimes the loving thing to do is to get angry. Jesus became angry in the Temple when he saw his Father’s house being run like a marketplace.
At the same time, we can love someone and still get angry at that person. Sometimes the anger may be ‘righteous’ and sometimes it may be ’selfish,’ but the people we love the most are the ones most likely to make us angry.
My point is this: God placed the capacity to get angry into your biological makeup. Being angry is not a sin; it can become a sin if we allow it to push us into destructive behavior, but the emotion itself is not a sin. The Bible says even God gets angry.
You can’t avoid anger, but you can learn how to control it. You can resolve to manage it, so it becomes an asset, rather than a liability. This means you quit making excuses and justifying your anger: “That’s just me. I just blow up. I can’t control it.”
Anger can be controlled. Have you ever been in a fight with someone and things are getting pretty loud, but then the telephone rings? Notice how quickly you can manage your anger! You’ve got a lot more control over your anger than you think you do. Resolve to manage it, then confess, “I can control my anger with God’s help.”
