You don’t know what you’ve got

Posted by John | Filed under Uncategorized

by John Fischer 

How fast the mind works, especially when it imagines the worst. Any parent knows this. My wife still counts heads every time a siren goes off. And it doesn’t seem to matter how old your kids are. It still happens.

Our 28-year-old son is currently living in a room we built into the garage. Even though it is separate from the main part of the house, we see him a lot because our office and an extra bathroom are also there. Plus, he loves us and checks in often.

One morning last week when I went over to use the shower, I noticed the lights on and his bed made. That wasn’t too unusual in that he sometimes sleeps over with friends, but then he usually gives us a courtesy call. What really got me going, however, was the fact that his wallet, keys and cell phone were all in his room, and his car was parked outside where it usually is. The only thing I could figure was that he was out jogging. And then it hit me. Why was everything so neat and in order in his room? Why didn’t he come over and say good night last night like he usually does? Why did his room look like he never slept there? What if he hadn’t? That would open up the plausibility that he could have gone jogging the night before and never come back.

As soon as that thought entered my brain, I was a goner. A ru

sh of what-ifs and their accompanying emotions flooded my head. The amazing thing was how powerless I was to stop this. It was like trying to shut off a faucet stuck in the “on” position with a broken valve. I could pray, but I couldn’t stop the emotions.

I immediately had him in the hospital or the morgue with no ID. Fifteen seconds later I was planning the funeral and wondering how to get my daughter back from Colorado. She’d be too distraught to drive. And it’s amazing when this happens to you, how real it is. It seems like its really happening and the feelings seem like real emotions. All I know is that when I heard his voice talking on his cell phone later, while I was in the shower, a wave of relief came over me, and the hug I greeted him with later took him a little by surprise. I had been right to suspect a jog, and thank goodness it was a morning one.

Joni Mitchell sang, “You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.” To which I would add, you don’t know what you’ve got until you think it’s gone. You’ve heard this before, I’m sure, but we can never hear it too often. Hug the people you love today extra hard, and tell them you are glad they are alive. Every moment we have with someone is precious. Lord, wake us up to the value of our moments together.

Permalink | May 30th, 2007

4 Responses

  1. Micky Says:
    May 30th, 2007 12:55 pm

    About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 1994, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages [England & Australia]. God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].

    Peace Be With You
    Micky

  2. Anonymous Says:
    May 31st, 2007 7:34 am

    Micky, thank you so much for sharing so sincerely and candidly. It is very inspiring for me to hear how Jesus is present in your life. I believe we all suffer and bear crosses of all sorts and we all sin and regret our behavior. But the one encouraging constant in our lives is that, as you said, Jesus loves us and forgives us our sins. None of us deserve to go to heaven. It is only by HIS death and resurrection that we can be with Him for eternity. God Bless You.

    John

  3. Anonymous Says:
    May 31st, 2007 7:37 am

    Micky, if I don’t use your name, would you mind if I use your sharing here in my blog so that it might be inspirational to others as it was to me?

    I won’t do anything until I hear back from you.

    Thank you. JOHN

  4. fuheming12 Says:
    May 16th, 2009 9:51 am

    I have read all the articles in your blog!!! They are my teachers and friends. Great admiration!!

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