Laughter is a gift
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Here are some Actual Announcements Taken From Church Bulletins.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and the community.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with “Little Drops Of Water,” One of the ladies will start quietly, and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the beginning of a children’s sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children are sitting down around the pastor, the pastor leans over and says to the girl, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?”
The girl replies almost directly into the pastor’s clip-on mike, “Yes…. and my Mom says it’s a b*tch to iron.”
FootPrints in the Sand
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We all have our own unique set of problems, demons, troubles, crosses and hurdles to overcome in our life at one time or the other. None of us are exempt. I have so many blessing to be thankful for: family, health, work, friends, a church to go to, a house to live in and shelter my family and certain God Given talents that allow me to provide for my family ………and my faith. And most importantly, I am blessed that Jesus Christ died for me so I could Live with HIM forever. I do believe that.
But there are times when I struggle so much with my faith. I pray and ask for help for what I believe to be right and noble causes or problem resolutions and nothing happens and sometimes situations just keep getting worse. And it seems many times the cause of the problem is completely out of my control. I desire the strongest faith where I could pray “God, I can accept whatever comes my way and will always Praise your Name.” But that is easier said than done when one’s family is involved.
You want to provide, protect, shelter, and nurture your family so they never have to suffer, or worry, or be without. But that is not always possible. When you think about it, there are really so many things out of our control that only GOD knows and controls.
I want to evolve in my faith so I can “let go” and turn it All over to Jesus, but I am stuck afraid to “let go.” I worry too much to the point it at times hurts my family relationships. I don’t know how to let go. That leap of faith into the unknown trusting whatever happens…..it will be “OK.” …. I don’t know how to get there.
When God does not answer my prayers, or at least I am not Aware of HIS answer, I feel so all alone, helpless, vulnerable, weak, afraid and worried. It seems like sometimes in my darkest hours, I am walking alone….just 1 set of footprints in the sand.
“………But the Lord replied, ‘The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, was when I carried you.’ (Mary Stevenson)”
Salvation
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Salvation: What is salvation? Salvation is not just about going to Heaven when you die. It is that and so much more. Salvation is also about living the best life possible while here on earth. Jesus said in (John 10:10b) “I am come that they may have life and that they might have it more abundantly.” We become ALIVE and experience true life as it was meant to be. It is having an intimate, personal relationship with the One who created you – God, the Creator of the universe. Along with that relationship (salvation), you get to know the REAL YOU and learn of your purpose for being. How awesome is that? Salvation is made possible through Jesus Christ our Lord, who became the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. Jesus paid the ransom price for our sins with His life, so that we could be reconciled to God. All we have to do is ask God for forgiveness (repentance), acknowledge Jesus as the Lord (allow Him to be Lord over our lives), and believe with all our heart God raised Him from the dead. It really is that simple. Salvation is not hard, however it is about humility. To paraphrase (2 Corinthians 11:3) “don’t let your mind be deceived from the simplicity that is in Christ”.
Get your head out of the game
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by John Fischer
It’s a game. It’s impossible to avoid because we are all wired to play it. It’s the comparison game. It’s based on the belief that there will always be those who are worse sinners than we are. (By whose ruling? Conveniently ours, of course.) It’s righteousness by default. It’s what keeps sinners in bars and the “righteous,” somewhere else.
It takes a lot of our attention to maintain the game. It’s even played in church, where levels of “spirituality” keep us from being totally honest with one another. And it’s an exhausting game that requires a good deal of manipulation of the facts to keep it going.
Deep down inside, we long for God to blow the whistle on the whole game. Deep down inside, we want the truth, and when it finally hits home, it hits with incredible fierceness. It’s the only way this will work. We are—every one of us—completely, utterly despicable sinners who are completely, utterly, and wonderfully saved. We gather around the same table, separated by society yet joined by God—Pharisee and sinner, weak and strong, beautiful and ugly, straight and gay, intelligent and ignorant alike, holding out our hands for the blessed forgiveness. There is no division here. No CASUAL SINNERS over here, or NICE PEOPLE SINNERS over there, or REALLY BAD SINNERS down there and to the left. We are all equally guilty, so we can all be equally and gloriously saved.
Loving yourself
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The key to loving others lies in loving yourself.
“And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22
Ultimate Wireless Connection
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Prayer is a wireless connection to God which never gets dropped as long as you know the password: Jesus.
“And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask for anything in My name, and I will do it.” John 14:13-14
“…..always be found”
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God can always be found right where you left Him.
“‘You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you’, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:13-14
Nails
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I gave blood this week end as many of us do. I always hate the needle. This time, however, they accidentally punctured a vein so it was more painful than usual, bled a lot and ended up swelling some. As my wife will attest, I have No pain tolerance (her words…”WIMP”) which, I admit, is true. I was feeling sorry for myself as I sometimes do, but then I thought for a moment……….
How painful it must have been when they drove large spikes into Jesus’ hands and feet………………………..
I stopped feeling sorry for myself.
Praise to you O Lord Jesus Christ.
“wait”
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The gift of patience carries a lot of “wait.”
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” Psalm 37:7
Three Steps Toward Spiritual Growth
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by Rick Warren
“I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24 NIV).
When you think about your walk with Jesus, some days you may wonder, “Why is this so hard? I’m still struggling with so many problems. When will I finally get it right?”
In my journey as a pastor, I’ve learned spiritual growth is often like the growth we see in nature–the best fruit ripens slowly. In John 12:24, Jesus says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (John 12:24 NIV).
The problem is we tend to get impatient, so we dig up the seed to check the progress of its growth, and that slows down our growth! If you’re not seeing as much fruit as you’d like, don’t despair. Growth takes time.
In the meantime, try these steps toward spiritual growth:
Nurture growth with God’s Word–I know you’re already doing this, but when you read the promises of God, again and again, it helps you remember that he is at work, even when you can’t see him at work: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1 NIV).
Cooperate with God as he prunes–Praise God for the work he’s doing in your life, remembering “he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more” (John 15:2 NLT).
Pray through the ‘fruit list’–Pray through the ‘fruit list’ from Galatians 5:22-23. The NIV Bible lists the fruit as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Ask God to help you grow this fruit in your life.
